You are Awful – Tim Moore
Take an old banger.
Pipe in trashy pop music from an MP3 file.
Take along an Ozzie Osborne Sat Nav system to liven up the driving experience.
Leave out Tina Turner, because this road trip has no chance of being “Simply the Best”.
Sprinkle in a few far flung destinations that are unlikely to feature on anyone’s “Bucket List”.
Carry out “due diligence” via Trip Advisor to find the very worst hotels and overnight accommodation.
Try to “get in the mood” for a naff extravaganza by eating all the very worst take-aways, or just frequent the worst pubs and restaurants.
Stir gently, liberally adding a few “choice words” and what have you got?
An absolutely brilliant travelogue!
My first book review of the 2022 covers an unexpectedly brilliant publication, where the author is a martyr to his cause.
If you want a good laugh this book will have you guffawing from start to finish.
Our travel guide’s “wheels” drip oil, thus bringing an appreciable sense of failure to;
The Isle of Sheppey, Slough, Great Yarmouth, Skegness, Grimsby, New Holland, the dullest OS square in Britain, Goole, Hull, Bransholme, Wilton, Middlesbrough, Hartlepool, Easington, Gateshead, Newcastle upon Tyne, Forth, Cowdenbeath, Lochgelly, Methil, Cumbernauld, Pontins at Southport, Liverpool, St.Helens, Angelsey, Rhyl, Barrow in Furness, Sheffield, Nottingham, Birmingham, Walsall, Merthyr Tydfil, and the Hanger Lane.
From my perspective a number of these places offer more than the author unearthed, but having said that there is no way I’d darken the doors of establishments reeking of cigarettes, or offering food with the potential for cardiac arrest.
Tim finishes his epic national tour by eating “lunch” in a bus shelter. The food of choice? Eleven carrots, and not an ounce of fat!
If you are broad minded and fancy something that will take your mind off “The Pandemic” then buy the book and laugh your way through all 277 pages.
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